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The Official Ode to the Forums
I can't stand to see another thread,
beating a horse that's already dead.
Do you like "s3ks" and what does art mean?
A :devpoorhorse: cult for illiterate teens.

The forum descriptions must be Greek,
or maybe the newbies only read 1337.
The Welcome Center to get a tour.
Thumbshare Forum for commentwhores.

'Deviator' no longer exists
(The Forum's still there 'cause :devjark: insists)
Don't post there- it's useless you know
Read the thread that tells you so.

Elite ForumWhores: they're better than you.
Accept it now you know it's true;
If you see a lot of the Blank Stare guy
stupidity is the reason why.

For those with a brain that
My Dead Lesbian DogMy poor dead lesbian dog,
Died a sad lesbian death.
She was just drinking egg nog...
Laced with crystal meth.

Because of her over-dose,
She is now lesbian dead,
What I miss most,
Is stroking her lesbian head.

Now she's in doggy heaven,
(More likely doggy hell)
She died at the lesbian age of seven,
Feeling unlesbianly well.

Now she is lesbian gone,
My dinner is her lesbian remains,
And so she'll live on,
In me-- when I eat her lesbian brains!
a fairy tale for the morbidThere was a young girl
who grabbed on to a squirel
and propmpty fell down a well
when she hit the ground
she looked around
and wondered if she was in hell

to her great surprise
and the squirels sad demise
t'was a black cat that answerd
he ate up the squirel
smiled at the girl
said"nope" and burst into laughter

but then the cats eyes
buldged open wide
and he starteds to heave
see the squirel inside
hants quite died
and he was really quite peeved

that cat started to hurl
and out came that squirel
fur all stick and wet
the cat was quite shocked
the squirel was pissed off
and he had revenge still to get
Clash of the TwilightersWhen I first arrive at work
it's immediately thrown in my face;
hordes of screaming, teenaged girls
who fell in love with the Vampire race.

If they're all scornful of Jacob Black
and jealous of Bella Swan,
and swoon over Edward and all the Cullens,
how much longer can this madness go on?

If I have to see one more shirt
that says, "I Love Sparkly Men"
I swear I'll launch myself to the moon
and I won't come back again.

I'm tired of seeing huge displays
when I visit my favorite bookstore.
As to the movie, don't get me started!
The whole stupid series is a bore.

Whenever I see two girls
dressed head to toe in Twilight gear,
I kn
Mario's my father
Mario's my father, the princess is my mom
I fought goombas, turtles, and those little wind-up bombs
Sonic is my brother, that little spikey guy
He runs far too fast for your pathetic human eye

You joke "life force is running out!"
And nobody knows what you're talking about
Except for the geeks, they get your bad joke
Crack open another vanilla coke

I remember the days, the days of 2D
Come on and reminisce with me
Those rainy days with sega and snes
Where tricky games would be the test

Now here we are, in great brand new 3D
Big markets, huge games, and lots of money
Large corporations pump them out, fast and quick like water
Morning WoodAN ODE TO MORNING WOOD

Morning wood, oh morning wood,
How'd you arise before I did?
Why must you make me walk all funny
Whenever I walk by Dad and Mummy?

It's just too hard to still look cool
Walking into class every day at school
Teacher says "If you can't keep yourself,
By God, then Glue will"

And riding home upon the bus,
I take two seats (for both of us).
At my porch, you've no signs of shying,
I knock on the door without even trying

And now the dogs won't leave you alone
(They've already finished their other bone)
But come dinner time, you're almost dead
And I feel the blood coming back to my head

Before you, I could ju
I'd Hate to be Harry PotterI'd hate to be Harry Potter
I'd hate to be harry potter,
With glasses, scar and wand.
I know he went to Hogwarts but
That's something I don't want.
I know that he does magic tricks,
And hangs with Dumbledore.
That would be fun if I could stop
The teenage girl author.

I just can't stand the fan fictions
That tell of his new love.
The one Rowling forgot about,
The one that he's dreamed of.
The beauty that is Mary Sue,
(Not based on you, I'm sure).
Who sweeps him off his tortured feet,
The one we must endure.

Forget about Ginny Weasley,
She simply can't compare
To Mary Sue, so beautiful,
With hair so blonde and fair.
Wit
Ahmed the dead terrorist part1-Good evening, Achmed.
-Good evening... infidel!
-So you are a terrorist?
-Yes I'm a terrorist!
-What kind of terrorist?
-A terryfing... terrorist!... Are you scared?
-Not really, no
-Bleeeee! And now?
-Not really, no
-EHEEEE! How 'bout now?
-No
-God damn it! Oh! O! I mean: Allah damn it!... SILENCE! I'll kill you!
-So Achmed..
-No, no, it's A*gh*med
-That's what I said
-No, you said Achmed, Agh, gh, gh! SILENCE! I'll kill you!
-How do you spell it?
-What?
-How do you spell your name?
-Well, let's see... A..C..Phlegm... SILENCE! I'll kill you!
-So Achmed you are a terrorist. I would suppose you have sort of speciality?
-Y
know I'm LL's iPod...
Music...
Artists...
L Lawliet...
Know I'm L...

...

I wake up every evenin'
with my legs up in my face
and they're never ever out of place

and I'm still always working
while I eat tea and frosting paste
and I know how good that tastes

when you see my face
hope you know I'm L
hope you know I'm L

when you walk my way
hope you know I'm L
hope you know I'm L

has there ever been a man
that is so smart
and treats you like hell?

i'm just so cool
like that and i can solve crime
like, really well

I know that I can't sing very good
because I've never seen you fall so hard
do you know where you are?

truth be told,
Ballad Of A Disturbed Minstrel'Twas a moonlit morning, late in June
As I stumbled up o'er the last high dune
Of a desert deep in a forest cold---
Before me there sparkled a Sea of gold!

A Sea of Gold--how I shook with fear
For I knew 'twas that magical Lake of Beer
Of which wizards mumble, when deep in their cups
--On the shore of that sea frolicked Basilisk pups!

Six Basilisk puppies, of an aspect most vile
Each grinning like a drunken crocodile
As they slithered and skipped on the silvery shore
--My torn-out innards begged for more!

But I drew my sword with a valiant sneeze
And I sliced up those brutes with ridiculous ease
'Til the silver sands sizzled wit
Night before Christmas sort ofTwas the night before Christmas and all through the mansion
The Earl was stirring and throwing a tantrum.
The Clan was sitting by the table waiting for their feast
But old Milleny was growling like a beast.

When young Road piped up “You're angry. What's the cause?”
The old creature bellowed “It's that fool Santa Clause!”
There were collective gasps about the room,
And though the voices clamored and made a boom

“What do you have against that big red guy?”
Was one loud cry.
Why it was Road looking all red with flush.
The Earl turned on her with a rush

“He is too Jolly and must be killed.”
Clash of the Twilighters v.2When I first arrive at work,
it’s immediately thrown in my face:
hordes of screaming teenaged girls
in love with the Vampire race.

They’re all scornful of Jacob Black,
and jealous of perfect Bella Swan,
and swoon over Edward and the Cullens,
how long will this obsession go on?

If I have to see one more shirt
that says, I Love Sparkly Men,
I swear I’ll launch myself to the moon
so I won’t have to see them again.

I’m tired of seeing huge displays
when I walk into Borders Bookstore.
As for the movie, don’t get me started:
the entire thing was a sparkling bore.

Whenever I see two teenage girls
dresse
The Poem w. an Eating DisorderThe day I gave my half-done piece a name,
It ceased to eat.  Refused all further verse.
It hid its form in anorexic shame,
Convinced of girth it needed to reverse.

Our writing exercises weren't enough;
It had to starve itself, to fast, it thought,
Rejecting words as poor, unhealthy fluff,
Irrational ideals I often fought.

When finally it took to words, it gorged,
Devouring ev'ry phrase I chanced to write;
As thoughts were had, so, too, were verses forged,
With not a hint of order left in sight.

At last, its swollen stanzas stopped to purge;
Revision by catharsis stopped its growth,
And, after having pleased this anxious urge,
I
A Short Anti-Sanjaya Poem
A Short Anti-Sanjaya Poem

Simon is green
Paula is blue
Sanjaya, you suck
And your hair won't save you
Browse More Like This
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More from ~chibi-cthulhu

Real MonstersThe scene would have been perfect for a movie, or at least a televised drama.
Picture it, a family, at dinner, in the dining room. There's The Mother, The Father, and The Son. There's a blue and white checkered table cloth. There is food to eat. There are white porcelain dishes on which to eat it, and there is polished silverware with which to eat it.
Picture The Family, if you will, eating the dinner, and having a dinner conversation. The Son is revealing His woes and worries to The Mother and The Father.
"Don't worry about it, Son," The Father says, "You're a teenager. What You're experiencing are merely natural urges."
The Son looks un
IfIf you were a flower
And if I were a bumblebee,
Then...

Then...

Then...

You know what? Never mind...
A Mon Seul DesirRegardez la dame et sa licorne.
Elle ne veut que déposer ses bijoux dans leur boîte,
Mais nous la laisserons pas seule.
Toujours avec la spéculation
De
A Walk On The Beach     As a way of improving my health, I took a walk one day along the beach on the island of T-----. I began on one spot that was no spot in particular. It was a beautiful, windy day. There was a man speaking to his children in German as they built sandcastles. Since I do not know the Saxon tongue, I continued walking.
    I soon found that my path was becoming less and less populated. The only people I saw were walking to more human areas.
    On my promenade, I entertained many thoughts; those of romance, those, or human nature, those of the beach. They all danced about in my head.
    As time and I continued our march, I soon approac

Featured in Groups:

:iconsimpsonsfanfiction: #SimpsonsFanfiction
Written in Yellow

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January 19, 2006
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Ode to Sideshow Bob

:iconchibi-cthulhu:

A Shakespearian tongue
You have;

Your red, pointy hair
Is mad,
But neat.

Framing Krusty, Attempting murder,
Rigging an election for mayor;

Stealing a nuclear bomb,
Moving to Italy
'Cause life's just not fair.

I must say:
You're hear to stay:
A vendetta you did swear

On the family Simpson
For Lisa's malapropism
And Homer and Bart were there.

Your opera-singing
T.V. hate-slinging
Wedding-bell-ringing
To Ms. Selma Bouvier

Landed you jail;
Your skin grew pale
So low you decided to lay.

The Great Louse Detective, you were
To save the life of one, Homer
From the son the of Frank "Grimey" Grimes

Those were wonderful times...

I have no fears
They say they have stories for years.
I hope you're included in them.

I hope you come back,
And pick of the slack
For the Burns/Smithers/Krusty schism.
:iconchibi-cthulhu:
I just wanted to write a poem about my favorite villain.
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:iconprincesskatlissa:
~PrincessKatLissa Jul 11, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Amazing! :D Sideshow Bob is my favorite character/villian ever!
Reply
:iconvmenfangirl:
Mood: Love ~VMenFangirl Jul 2, 2009
awesome! I love it! :love:
Reply
:iconwolfspup:
Mood: Love ~wolfspup Feb 16, 2009
This is so cool! It took me a little while to remember who Sideshow Bob was, but I Remember!
He was my favorite villian on the Simpsons!!
Reply
:iconchibi-cthulhu:
~chibi-cthulhu Feb 16, 2009
Well I'm glad you liked it. :)
Reply
:iconfatmensweat:
~FatMenSweat Aug 3, 2008
Viva le Bob. xD
I love this!
Reply
:iconiamfergie:
~iamfergie Mar 12, 2007  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Who doesn't know who Sideshow Bob is? He rocks the casbah! Awesome poem, with great use of words. Bob would be flattered. You know, if he were real.
Reply
:iconchibi-cthulhu:
~chibi-cthulhu Mar 12, 2007
Heh, if he were real, I'd be very, very scared.
Reply
:iconconfrontedwolf:
~ConfrontedWolf Jan 20, 2006
Nice!! i love the simposons!
Reply
:iconchibi-cthulhu:
~chibi-cthulhu Jan 20, 2006
Thanks :D
Reply
:iconastartekatz:
~AstarteKatz Jan 19, 2006
Though I have absolutely no clue who Sideshow Bob is, it's very nice work. I really adore the rhyme scheme. ^^ :hug:
Reply
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